Alanna and Jon
by Tireless Ship of The Line
Summary: A little tidbit that shows the tumultuous relationship that was Alanna and Jon post break-up


**You know the bed feels warmer sleeping here alone**

Alanna sighed as the world around her began to wake. Soon Coram would come through that entrance demanding she get up and get dressed. She could already smell the beginnings of breakfast being made outside and could faintly hear Kara singing to herself. Soon she would have to get up and begin another day of mentoring. Soon, but not just yet. For now she could enjoy the sounds of a new day as she remained cocooned in her blankets as the early morning sun peeked through the tent and the tribe began waking up.

**You know I dream in colour and do the things I want**

Since his departure she had been able to return to her duties as shaman, mentor and warrior. Accompanying the men out hunting and chasing off bandits had been a duty sorely missed but his absence left something wanting within her. A need for adventure. A need for a distraction. His lack of interest or concern over her actions afforded her the freedom to visit Port Caynn, to visit George. Her veins practically thrummed with excitement as Moonlight's hoofs drummed beneath her, propelling her into the desert and away from the Bloody Hawk tribe.

**Bet you think that everything good is gone**

He tried to forget about her, to not think about her or the choices she made. He tried but his mother noticed. She supplied him with distractions. Distractions in the form of female companions. Distractions that would prove to her, that fiery red head, that he was unaffected by her decision. That he was fine without her, that it was she who would be suffering without him. His involvement with Josiane would cause Alanna jealousy and force her to realize that she had made a mistake, that she was wrong. These were the thoughts that he tried to convince himself with every night as he danced effortlessly across the floor with his latest conquest.

**Think you left me broken down think that I'd come running back  
**

He was waiting, she knew. The subtle hints that Coram dropped indicated that Jon had asked for her. The letters from Myles described the prince's drastic behaviour and inability to commit to one woman. She could see what he was doing but she was having none of it. If he thought she'd come running back he had another thing coming. She was happy where she was. She didn't regret her decision one bit.

**What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter  
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone**

Every night he put on a brave face. He was the prince after all, the future king and Voice of the Tribes. Who was she to make him feel so insignificant? He would take this as a lesson. He would move on and shoulder the pain. It allowed him to connect to the Voices past and afforded him clarity of mind. She meant nothing to him anymore. The pain made him stronger as a man, and as a leader. She didn't need to see the pain, no one did. The deal had been finished, it was time for everyone else to realize it.

**Just me, myself and I  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
Stand a little taller  
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone**

Exhausted, Alanna collapsed into a chair gently placing her sword on the table beside her. Sword practice gave her time to think, to meditate, but also to clear her head. In a way it freed her from her daily struggles as a knight and gave her a chance to escape reality, if only briefly, as her mind focused on the pattern before her. Pleased with her effort she headed inside for a well deserved bath, enjoying the peace and quiet that she had so little received of late.

**You heard that I was starting over with someone new  
They told you I was moving on, over you**

Silent tears wracked his body as he curled up against the wall, one arm wrapped around himself, the other clinging to his report. He had asked and curiosity had burned him. He had asked for a report on the location of his lioness after hearing she had left the Bloody Hawk. A small part of him had clinged to the hope that she was returning to Corus. That hope was shattered when he read that she was instead in Port Caynn, residing with George Cooper of all people. It was then he knew that he had truly lost his chance. Alanna, that fiery red head whom he had grown to love, was no longer his, and the knowledge of that hurt.

**You didn't think that I'd come back, I'd come back swinging  
**

Alanna smiled as she rode into Corus with Raoul. He had called her and, being the loyal subject that she is, she returned his call, bringing the Dominion Jewel as a little housewarming gift. He was expecting a heartfelt reunion, maybe a little screaming, but by the end of the day he expected to have a fiancé, and future Queen of Tortall by his side. Alanna smirked to herself, glancing at Thayet again as the young woman fiddled with her reins. He had a new thing coming for him, and she suspected he wasn't quite ready for it.

**Stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone  
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter  
**

Jon straightened his tunic and flattened his hair before exiting his rooms. She was back. He could do this. It was the first time that they would be seeing each other since the argument. He had no idea what to expect. His imagination ran wild with scenes of undying passion erupting between them. Instead when he entered the room his heart skipped a beat. She was still Alanna, his love and best friend, but the look in her eyes was one of friendship only. She smiled at him before ushering someone else into the room. A tall, elegant, beautiful young woman, who looked awkward and unsure of herself. He gazed back at Alanna who simply smiled before leaving the room, unknowingly taking a piece of his heart with her.

**Thanks to you I got a new thing started  
Thanks to you I'm not broken-hearted**

His absence allowed her to finally explore the attraction between her and George. Through her travels he had finally found a woman not only suitable for the throne, but for his heart. Through all the pain, all the heartache, they were both finally able to move on.

**Thanks to you I'm finally thinking about me  
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning  
**

"Alanna I'm sorry for leaving. If only I'd waited –"

"Jon stop. You and I both know had you waited we'd have come to the same conclusion only at a much later time." She softly cut him off as they strolled the palace grounds together.

"We could've tried you know. It might've worked."

Alanna sighed, sliding onto the bench leaning into him when he sat next to her. "We'll never know. What I do know though is had you stayed, and had it worked out you wouldn't have the Dominion Jewel, Thayet and Buri might be dead, Mithros knows what would have happened to George by now. You leaving was the right thing to do."

"I am sorry." He whispered, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into his embrace. "I wish I could take back what I said that day. I didn't want to hurt you. All it did was push you away and that is what hurt most of all. I loved you Alanna. I truly did, and I still do."

Alanna turned her face up to his and smiled. "I know you did Jon."

**What doesn't kill you makes you stronger**


End file.
